Everyone understands and knows deep with in that life cannot be all praises. At some point of time, someone will be there who would not like what you do or what you say would end up in criticizing you. In my more than 22 years of NLP training and coaching I haven’t seen a single day when life went on without someone criticizing me or I have not criticized something or someone. This is the most candid statement I can make. May be few of you take it critically and end up in criticizing me.
If criticism is a living realty, people who manage their state despite criticism also live in the same world around us.
How about you? Do you fear of criticism? Does it make you go through emotional turmoil? And more importantly do you want to model the strategies of those who make the most out of criticism.
I was interacting with Sat with whom I lived the best years of my life, trained countless practitioner (because we have lost the count) with whom I take liberty to criticize and he has tremendous capacity to carry himself gracefully no matter what I say.
I ended up in asking how does he manage criticism, “he quickly replied with an affirmative question. “ Do you know fear of criticism arises if you are having less self-belief and low confidence on whatever we do? ”,…… and after a meaning pause …. He further said, “This isn’t a very good sign, isn’t it?
And what more worst you can expect? Fear vanishes all the skills and the person find himself/herself lurking or being not able to work efficiently
And let me add here something what I have found about fear of criticism and how NLP can help. People when fear usually have loud enough voices inside the head about what people will say or how they will react to your certain task, speech, act or work. A voice may be warning, “Beware! This will destroy your credibility to create and put your views forward.”
As we speak about the fear of being criticized, most people think that there is no specific solution to overcome this tragic fear. For a practitioner of NLP though it is quick and easy. Here is something they do:
Just let the voice inside the head get louder and get curious. What is it telling me? What isn’t yet perfect? What can be possibly done? In the next step, quickly shift the location of voice, turn down the volume or make the pace of voice lesser and lesser.
Here are some remedial best practices that can help us open up more towards criticism and negative comments.
Be open to rejection
If someone rejects your efforts, get into a stronger physiology in a “chest out stance” and take it as a symbol to improve. May be at first it will obviously will make you resist and feel bad. And as the new pattern of taking criticism positively gets installed, just in a little time you will learn taking critical voice creatively. At certain level it will make you more wise and improved person.
Does it remind you of the saying of Indian saint Kabir? Hey God I want my critics to be around me, so they help me get rid of my age old tolerations.
Think Of It As A Battle
Like in real battles, those who give up always lose. There may be many a people criticising your work but if you fight against it and keep positive mindset, you will overcome the fear
Don’t let the Negative words Impact you
We can’t stop people from criticising, but we can prevent the words from making any negative impact on our perception, Criticism can be helpful in learning from mistakes and improving our skills. Ask what we refer as meta-model question, “ what specifically I can change or improve?” Take lessons from words, don’t let them go unnoticed by you.
Forget and Forgive
Forget whatever anyone comments on your work or about your way of living, also if someone comes apologising to you for their condescending remarks, forgive them instantly and move on to pursue your dreams.
How about getting a wiser belief system installed?
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Also, if you are still searching an answer for, “How do I stop criticizing others and haven’t found the answer yet, write to me.”
Siri Guru PrakashKaur Khalsa
BestLife-Executive NLP Coach and Trainer
Licensed and endorsed by Dr, Richard Bandler, co –creator of NLP
AlphaStars BestLife NLP Process Coach and Trainers with 22+ years of authentic NLP experience in India, providing NLP training as per international standards and certification licensed by Dr. Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP.
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